Τρίτη, 15 Ιανουαρίου 2013

Insecurity

I started this blog to document my life as a mother and to meet people. At first I was writing about anything I had in my mind. After some time, I decided to share less of my negative emotions. Partly because subconsciously I wanted to remember the good stuff and partly because I didn't want to be exposed to so many people.

But, the negativity is here right now. Inside me. 

I feel overstretched.

I am a very young person, who suddenly got involved in so many things. I turned from a zero responsibility girl into a full time mom, wife, housekeeper, cooker (from scratch), blogger and an oh so bad wanting and trying to be an entrepreneur woman. 

All these, while I have no money, no home, no car...nothing! Right now we live with my parents who support us. I feel horrible about this. Having to leave my home was a heavy blow for me. We said it would be for just a while. But it's been 8 months now and where are we? Just where we were. Nothing has changed.

We had a chance to make things different. Around November-December we decided to go to my grandma's to pick olives and start a new life there. It was dreamy for me! Being close to nature, having some silence, relaxing! We could learn so much from my grandparents and slowly start the life of my dreams (our dreams?)

Things didn't work out and I was devastated. I don't know where we're going anymore. I feel so lost.

I want to be able to live without my parents' support and I NEED my space. It's impossible to have it and it's killing me.

I don't know how long this is gonna last. I hope it ends soon cause I feel so crappy right now...

At least I still got my coffee I guess...


8 σχόλια:

  1. I know how bad can feel to stay with your parents esp. when you are a mom yourself. As a full-time working momo with absolutely no time for my boy,my husband,my life itself I say you should relax,enjoy the pampering and something will eventually come up,an opportunity.And if it doesn't then it's not yet the right time.After all when you'll have a job,a house and everything you might miss now,you'll pray for some time to do nothing at all and blank for mind away:) everything comes in time;)I even look forward for summer when we will move away from athens to a new place and trust me I'll be where you are now but I really really need that after trying to balance between motherhood,household,marriage and work.

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  2. You are so right! I have to think of all these things that I am grateful for. Being so negative doesn't help. I just had to get it out. Thank you so much for the support!

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  3. I don't think it matter what age you are. At different times in my life I too have felt overwhelmed by it all. I am old enough to be your Mum, yet I share many of the same concerns. I think at the root of it is lack of money, the stress of not being able to be financially independent hurts your confidence. Though I am not living with my parents I am also stressed to the max about money. Spent buckets of money on fertility treatments, then the last of my savings enabled me to be a stay at home Mum last year. But now I am living off my credit card stressing about what next. I really don't want to leave Jarvis and work. But am losing options.
    So I have no advise, just to let you know you are not alone, many women feel as you do....

    http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

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    1. Thank you so much! Knowing I'm not the only one really helps. Things will get better!

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  4. Lliska above is so right. I think this is a universal feeling no matter your age, your race, your location... it is how women feel at times. Like we are responsible for everything and yet feel as though we have control over nothing. I too am old enough to be your mom! But I have felt this way before and one thing I have learned... it passes. And then it comes back, and then it passes.... it is the breaking waves of this life. You are so insightful for your age.♥

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    1. Shannon thank so much for your responce! It's so important for me! All this 'passing and the coming back' thing kind of scares me. But it also makes me wanna be prepared for the next time. We women, need to be kinder with ourselves!

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  5. I can totally relate to how you feel. Although we live in a house, it is not ours, we rent it from my in-laws and we have to leave once my husband is done school. A slightly stressful situation for us. They are only letting us stay here because the house wont sell. It is about 200 years old and falling apart. Part of the reason for my trip to Florida was to look a a few different places and areas to live. We are planning on moving there after my husband is done school. Like you feel I feel lost at times too. I feel like I am living my life on hold and I've felt that way for the past four years or so. We need to make a move, a change, something. I understand and feel for you my friend. All good things come in time. I hope something really good happens for you very very soon!

    xoxo

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    1. Seriously? Moving to Florida? Lucky you!

      I'm totally sure something good is going to happen, soon!

      Thanks somuch for the support!

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