Δευτέρα, 6 Αυγούστου 2012

My mothering style



Since I gave birth to my son, every woman I know, thought, it would be a good idea to advise me about how to raise him. At first I was completely lost and I was being affected by anyone. That leaded me to breastfeed on schedule, hugging my son only to feed him, have him sleeping in my room but from a distance, cleaning like a maniac and many other things.

I had no idea about babies and when I was dealing a ''problem'' like for example that he was not interested in sitting on his relax chair, I was talking about it with the women, that had raised kids, in Philip's and my family. They were immediately being shocked and they were nervously trying to find ways to help me sholve my ''problem''. Of course all these solutions were not professional and they were all leading the baby away from me. I was confused and their advices were making me seriously nervous...I was spending my time to make him do things he didn't want to. I believed that something was terribly wrong with him. I was trying hard, just to prove them that he is normal.

It took me sometime to realise that every baby (and parent) is different and the point is to find what works for both. It took me more time to develop critical thinking. That's when I realised that our society forces babies to become quickly independent and separate from their mothers, which is something I completely disagree. I was doing my own research through internet and books. I stopped asking about their opinion. Of course they still advise me, but if I don't agree I just don't mind.

I try to keep things as simple and natural as possible. That envolves ecological breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing, baby led weaning, many hugs and my full attention. I believe that all these super fancy-super expensive baby stuff that a new parent should buy, are simply USELESS! They exist only to replace the presence of mother. Pacifiers, bottles and formula milk are needless when there is breast and breastmilk. When there is a healthy, no smoker, no drug user, relaxed mother with her insticts of a fully functioning, there's no need for a crib...cosleeping is great! When a mother has arms, a relax chair is useless. A walker is useless too, as long as the mother (or even better the dad, grandpas, uncles/aunts etc.) hold the baby while he's trying to walk. Simple water bottles and glasses can do the sippy cups' job. About the toys now, he has soo many (most of them second hand) and still he wants to play with the doggie, our shoes, pots and ladles, wires and a lot of other dangerous stuff around the house. I'm pretty sure I can find many more needless baby stuff, that I know forget.

But let's be honest, there are some materials that I looove to own. First of all my ring sling. It had saved me a million times. The high chair, mostly because we are baby led weaning our son, although I'm pretty sure we could make it without it. The stroller is good too. Not so much for putting the baby in it, he gets bored after a while usually. Mostly because I can put my bag and my shopping bags on it.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do and what not. Every person is different and something that works for me, may not work for you. I just want you to think before you make any decision about your baby and before you buy any baby equipment. Be well informed, even before you have a baby. If you can stay at home with your baby for a long time, consider being his pacifier, milk, walker, sleeper etc. Think about getting second hand stuff. And please think about the environment. Where are all these products your baby will use during his baby life are going to end up? They're going to end up at the earth. All this plastic is going to pollute our earth for many many years. Why?

Just some food for thought for young mamas and mamas to be...

4 σχόλια:

  1. I totally agree! I am living with my mother at the moment and I just want to bang my head against a brick wall every time she tells me I pick up my babies too much, they should be sitting in a highchair to eat and not wandering around with food, that I shouldn't still be breastfeeding them, that the reason they're not interested in solids is because I give them too much breastmilk etc etc etc... As much as it means a constant battle and constant criticism, I have chosen to ignore her "advice" and just follow my gut instincts. I wish more mothers would. We know our babies best!

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    1. I know! And it's not like they were the best mothers ever with us! Every mother is trying to do the best for her child...why all this you-should-be-doing-it-like-I-was?

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  2. GORGEOUS PHOTO! Yes I agree too, my parenting style and philosophy is the same :)

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