It's a face of his...it's a word of mine...and without realising it, I'm crying, he's shouting...I strictly tell him not to shout in front of the baby...we're both about to explode. I ask him to leave cause I can't stand his attitude. He says he's leaving because he can't stand that everything gets on my nerves.
And then he's gone. And it's me and the baby again. And I feel terrible. I cry in front of him. He looks at me. I smile...he smiles. Then I cry...he gets serious and looks at me again.
I hate that. I just hate it. I hate it every time we fight and this little guy has to be in the middle. I hate it cause I love him to death and I want him to be happy.I don't want him to grow up in a home full of incongruity. I know that my baby feels how I feel and I only want him to feel positive. But I can't help it. Every time we even mention breaking up, I fall apart. I feel like my roots are burning. For a moment I think that I can make it on my own and I don't really need Phillip. But then I remember all the time we've been together (wich is a little, but we've been through some serious shit). Well I want to be with him. I love him a lot.
We just have to work things out. I have to find ways. I have to try to be a better person...for my son, for my husband,for me.